He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
