I can't watch pbs sober anymore
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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