you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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