Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
we have pet lesbian snakes
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
