glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
