dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
