I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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