Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
