and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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