Little spoons don't ask big questions
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize