Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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