Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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