She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
