another moral hangover. fuck.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
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