I'm really into asian looking animals
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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