I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
