ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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