Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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