is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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