I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
sex in a hospital.. check
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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