i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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