He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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