Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
