his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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