So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
honey bunches of taint.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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