Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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