your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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