i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
