You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
