i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
i black out too much to be "responsible"
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
