nut hugger
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
