i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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