READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
