Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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