Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
