I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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