On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
