butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
