some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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