come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
