so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
