nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
