just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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