Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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