in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Mom said you looked used
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Randomize