I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
