while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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