he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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