youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
