It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
