I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
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