I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
