Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
