well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
