Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
