remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
