i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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